Reset
by sweetheartbreaker
Summary: Everything she knew, everything she thought was true, they were all reset. Everything went tumbling back to time they first met, where it all began. From zero... and to infinity and beyond. (Warning: Alternate Universe)
1. Prologue

**Reset**

Ga Eul woke up to a throbbing headache. An ice pack fell from her head to the floor, doubling the pain she was feeling at the moment. She pushed herself up to a sitting position and assessed her predicament.

She didn't know where she was. She wasn't sure what happened last night, but the unfamiliar smell of the surroundings and the heavy sheet cover were bad news. She didn't recognize the clothes she was wearing. She didn't know what happened to her clothes before she was wearing these clothes.

_Great._

She didn't know a lot of things and she had a headache. A hangover most probably. She was sure about one thing, though. She was in a whole lot of trouble.

She reached down to the floor to get the ice pack back on her head to ease her pain even a bit. She pushed the sheets away from her and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Beside the bed was a small desk where a glass of water, medicine and a piece of paper that was held on the table by a ring were sitting. She didn't know to whom the ring belonged to so she set that aside.

Ga Eul took the paper which read,

_Drink this. It'll help. -YJ_

Ga Eul knew the medicine had side-effects, but she was sure it was not the cause of her wooziness after. She showered, changed into fresh clothes and ate breakfast before she took the medicine as per instructions by Yi Jeong, aka _YJ_.

Notes about what she should do were taped on parts of the room for some reason Ga Eul wasn't sure of. Her new batch of clothes appeared on the bed after she showered, as did the deliciously hot pancakes even after that.

Still, Ga Eul didn't know where she was, or what she was doing there. She had a clue, though, about how she got there.

And it had something to do with a man named So Yi Jeong.

The headache subsided to occasional throbs that didn't do anything else but annoy Ga Eul, but her mind was still cluttered with thoughts. She laid on the bed and waited for something, anything to remind her of what happened to her but nothing came to mind. And for some reason, it didn't seem strange. It even felt comforting that she didn't know anything... she didn't want to think about anything, yet.

What she _di__d_ want to think about was what she and Yi Jeong were doing last night.

She was hoping it was nothing she would regret.

But if it was Yi Jeong, she might not regret anything...

_Shut it_, she scolded her brain and tried to drive this thoughts away when they were cast out by a knock on the door.

"I'm going in, Ga Eul-yang."

The voice was too familiar Ga Eul sat up immediately to welcome the guest. The door opened to Yi Jeong dressed in a plain white t-shirt and shorts, as if he was just at home.

"Hey," he said after closing the door. He didn't move forward from where he was standing.

"Hey," she said back and crossed her legs over each other on the bed. She didn't feel self-conscious that Yi Jeong was there inside a bedroom with only her and him in it. If anything, she felt secured... She wondered what brought about that feeling.

"How are you feeling?" he said. He sounded cautious, like he might say something that would upset her.

"Better than when I woke up," she said. "Though I still feel a bit dizzy."

Yi Jeong nodded as if this wasn't knew to him. Perhaps it wasn't if it was a hangover. "Are you feeling anything else?"

He sounded too formal for comfort Ga Eul had to frown. "Lightheaded, I think."

"Aren't you going to ask how you got here or what are you doing here?"

It was as if he could read her like she was an open book. It's that or he felt that way a thousand of times. Which he might have.

"I was about to, but I don't think I want to know yet," she shrugged.

Yi Jeong's shoulder relaxed and it was only at that moment that she noticed he was actually feeling tensed.

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked. "Don't tell me something..." she gulped, "happened last night."

Yi Jeong almost smiled, but he didn't, as if weighing the possibility of her passing out if he did. "No, no, of course not... I wouldn't if..." he caught himself, and Ga Eul wished he didn't. What was wrong with him?

"_Sunbae?_" she called.

He looked like she slapped him.

Ga Eul felt more shocked than he did. _What is wrong?_ "What? What happened?"

Yi Jeong gave her a ghost of a smile, as if he was really reading her thoughts. "Nothing... it's just... you never call me that anymore."

"Really?" Ga Eul tried for a light atmosphere. "So what do I call you? _Jagiya?_"

She expected him to laugh. Instead, he looked worse than when she called him _sunbae_.

"Yi Jeong-_sunbae_, really, what is wrong?" The _sunbae_ was probably overkill but she didn't know what else to do, to say, or to call him.

He still didn't answer.

She sighed and reached out her hand to offer him. Sure, she liked So Yi Jeong... she wasn't sure if he felt the same, but as far as she knew in their relationship, they were best friends. She was contented with that at the moment, where they could read each other's thoughts, and they could be in each others arms with no question.

Yi Jeong moved forward to take her hand on his and sat beside her on the bed.

"So..." she started. "What's wrong?"

"This is going to sound really strange," he said.

"What else is new?" Ga Eul said, but in truth, she was already grateful that he answered.

He looked at her straight in the eyes. "You don't remember anything that happened last night, do you?"

Ga Eul shook her head.

"What about the night before that?"

Ga Eul thought about it. She hadn't gone that far into her memory. What she was thinking about was her immediate situation. "It's a bit fuzzy," she said. "A dinner with Jan Di, I think?"

Yi Jeong looked relieved. "Yes, it was. With Jun Pyo, don't you remember?"

Ga Eul closed her eyes as the memory tried to resurface. It was there, she could almost see it... She nodded. "You were there too," she said.

Yi Jeong nodded, looking a bit breathless. "I was." He paused, as if unsure he should continue or not. His unease made Ga Eul anxious. He must be convinced enough that it was important for her to know when he asked, "What else do you remember?"

Ga Eul frowned at him. "Why does it matter? You haven't even answered my question. What's wrong?"

Yi Jeong took a deep breath and held her one hand on both of his. "You've been forgetting things lately."

"I have?" Ga Eul asked. Based on the worried look on Yi Jeong's face, it was more than that. Ga Eul remembered all those dramas she had ever watched, and cursed her mind for bringing up such thoughts. It did not erase the possibility, though. It was not impossible, too, that it was Yi Jeong looking after her because of this. "Do I have Alzheimer's or something?"

He shook his head. "No, no, nothing like that..." His voice trailed off as if he implied something.

"But something almost similar?" Ga Eul asked, panic rising on her throat.

Yi Jeong nodded slightly. "Well, there was a time, two months ago when we got into an accident on the way to Jeju Island."

Ga Eul held her breath. Jeju Island... what were they doing in Jeju Island? She couldn't even remember that.

"The accident impaired a part of your brain and gave you a temporary amnesia."

_Amnesia_. She let the word sink in for a bit.

"You still have a hard time remembering some events that happens to your life, especially the ones that recently happened, like last night... but you're already progressing." He sounded confident, and hopeful.

She took a deep breath and took that all in. She had amnesia. That's why she couldn't remember a lot of things. She took another deep breath. Shakier than the first, but she felt calmer, now that she had an explanation.

There was nothing to worry about, she told herself. She was progressing like Yi Jeong said, and it was good news.

"What did happen last night?" she asked after a moment of silence.

Yi Jeong looked distracted for a split-second, before answering. "Oh, we had a party in celebration of Jun Pyo and Jan Di's anniversary."

Ga Eul choked. "Anniversary?"

Yi Jeong seemed to realize her confusion and took a deep breath before slowly saying, "Yes. Their first wedding anniversary."

Ga Eul closed her eyes again.

"Do you want me to step out a bit... at least until you sort things out?"

Ga Eul opened her eyes to see Yi Jeong's concerned ones. She just remembered right now that her hand was still between his. Her brain was a mess right now, processing how warm his hands are and how long back from before had she forgotten. The last thing she remembered about Jun Pyo and Jan Di is their engagement. Right now, they were actually married for a year?

Ga Eul nodded. "Thank you, _sunbae._ I appreciate it."

Yi Jeong gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before standing up and walking out of the room. Once he was gone, Ga Eul realized that she noticed something that was different about Yi Jeong's hand. His right hand, specifically. He was wearing a ring that looked familiar.

She felt a pinch on her heart. Yi Jeong was married? She'd forgotten that too? To whom?

Ga Eul laid back down on her bed, the way she did before Yi Jeong went in the room. She again took the medicine note he made her from the table. Then she noticed the ring that he used as a paper weight.

Now she knew why Yi Jeong's ring looked familiar. It was the twin of this ring.

And yes, Yi Jeong was married, she thought as she played with the ring on the palm of her hands. She, then, slipped it on her right ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

So Yi Jeong was married to her.

* * *

_(a/n: Hi lovely readers! It's been a long time, I know!_

_I've been on writer's block for a long time, I think I still am right now, but I realized I didn't want to give up writing so you just have to make do with my crappy stories right now, okay?_

_Haha._

_This was supposed to be a multi-chap romcom, in exchange for LCA I discontinued before... but I realized that it was hard to make a romcom... so I got stuck with this. It was still fun writing it though. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did._

_Thanks for dropping by. Comments and reviews are welcome!_

_xo, sweetheartbreaker)_


	2. Waking Up

**Waking Up**

_"You look wonderful."_

_Jan Di's face appeared on the mirror. She was wearing a smile, but Ga Eul knew there was something wrong._

_She couldn't put a finger on it at the moment, but there was something wrong. Not just with Jan Di... but with everything._

_Jan Di must have sensed her discomfort. "You can still back out, you know."_

_Ga Eul knew deep in her heart that it's what she wanted to do from the very beginning... even on the night he proposed. There was a sense of dread lingering in her heart. But she smiled at Jan Di. "Why would I? We've spent months and thousands of dollars for this..."_

_"Ga Eul-ah..."_

_"It's what I've been dreaming of my whole life," she cut Jan Di off before she could persuade her. What she said was only half true. This wedding had been her dream... It was everything she ever wanted. Except, of course, for one thing._

_Jan Di held up her veil, the last thing that was between her and the limo that would drive her to the church. "After this, there's no going back."_

_"No reason to go back." She sounded firm, but her heart was wavering._

_She didn't want to do this after all._

_She didn't want to continue on with the wedding._

It was a dream.

Ga Eul blinked, and pinched herself to make sure. She was awake now, and it was a dream.

But the feeling of sorrow, regret... dread was still there. She could feel it as if it was real. Was it real? She wasn't too sure. But it was all too vivid not to be.

She got up from bed and the wall clock told her that she slept for over an hour. Yi Jeong didn't wake her up? Or he didn't want to disturb her?

The dream bothered her more than she would allow herself to admit. If it had been her wedding, why was there something wrong? Why did it seem like she hated the idea of being wed? Why did she feel as if she was betraying her heart because of the wedding?

She stood up from the bed and walked to the door.

She had to steady her feet at the moment. She will remember. Yi Jeong said she was progressing, so she will have to find out sooner of later.

She opened the door, and to her surprised it opened a crack but stuck. She pushed again, and this time it opened fully revealing an embarrassed looking So Yi Jeong.

"I... uh, I just... I..." He scratched his head.

"Were you waiting here the whole time?" Ga Eul asked. She stopped herself from calling him anything yet. She didn't want to hurt him, or ruin their relationship, whatever relationship they had. But seeing him there, looking like a lost little boy, she knew that they were going on the right path.

He nodded slowly. "I... didn't have anywhere else to go, anyway. And I didn't want to be too far away," he said the last sentence with such sincerity Ga Eul would have melted right there and then if she wasn't human.

She probably just blushed, but still smiled gratefully.

Silence swept in between them, Ga Eul wasn't sure if it was tense or awkward or comfortable. But there was silence, and there were two of them, and somehow, her dreadful dreams flew away.

"I have a question," she said suddenly, Yi Jeong looked at her with a pained but expectant expression, "but please don't take it against me."

"Even if you ask who I am, I would never take it against you," he said so firmly, she knew that this was the man she would love to spend her entire life with.

She took a deep breath. "It's close actually."

He seemed to brace himself for a hit.

"What have I been calling you since... you know..." Her left hand touched her right where a ring that was twin of his hugged her ring finger.

He looked at her hands and relaxed. He even laughed before saying, "You don't call me sunbae or jagiya, that's for sure."

"Yi Jeong-ah?"

He smiled and nodded. "Ga Eul-yang."

She took a deep breath. "It feels like a long time."

"What do you mean?" he asked and gave her a puzzled look.

"It feels like I've slept for a long time, and I just woke up... you know what I mean?" she said with a bright smile.

Yi Jeong still looked puzzled but managed to show a small smile. "No, not really. But I'm glad you're feeling better."

Ga Eul assessed him. White shirt, light brown shorts, slippers. Dimpled smile. Hazel eyes. Tousled hair. Broad shoulders. Artist hands. Strong build...

"Hey," he said slowly, realizing what she was doing.

She was taking in the sight of him. And every cell of her body knew that this man had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. The dream must have been a lie or made up or it simply means nothing at all, because if she was to be wed to So Yi Jeong, she would be the happiest girl in the world.

She bounced forward to wrap her arms around his neck, and he caught her just in time, as if their bodies were in sync with one other. As if they were made for each other.

"I missed you," she said, her voice muffled on his shoulder.

He didn't reply, but it was alright to Ga Eul. She knew what she said sounded strange, but it was true. It felt to her like she was seeing the world anew again, like she was a newborn and everything was just coming to light. Like the pieces of the puzzle falling in place, for the very first time. And it felt like as if she hadn't seen Yi Jeong in a very long time, and right now is the first time they've met in a long time.

After the silence, when they both let go, Yi Jeong laughed. "I think I kind of understand your epiphany now."

"You do?" she asked.

"Kind of," he said and took her hand on his, as he led her away from the spot they were standing on. "Besides the obvious that you are healing, it also means you have to see everything again, but in a new perspective."

Ga Eul smiled. "Kind of like that." She intertwined her fingers with his and she let him pull her towards their new beginning.

"Chu Ga Eul," he started. "Let me be your tour guide to your new life."


	3. Lazy Saturday

**Lazy Saturdays**

Waking up was one thing. Waking up in bed with across another man was another. Waking up in bed with So Yi Jeong was a completely different story. She almost jumped from the bed the moment her eyes found a handsome sleeping face a few inches across hers.

Then she remembered.

It was a beautiful thing, to remember. She let the memory touch her mind: the feel of her hand on his as he guided her through _their _house; his obvious gladness that she remembered most of place, their laughter, and the slight fear in his eyes, every time she forgot some things and then tried to remember; and their close proximity.

He never let go of her hand. Only when they ate but even that he was sitting so close to her he might as well be. He held her hand when he led her to the garden where he showed her the rose garden she was tending. She couldn't remember them at first, but remembered that she loved roses so much, which he pointed out was the reason why he bought her the garden in the first place.

He held her hand as they let their knees in the pool. Ga Eul kind of remembered they had a ritual of drinking red wine or sparkling water while they were in the pool, and Yi Jeong confirmed by giving her a goblet. He didn't let go of her hand when he poured the wine, nor when they drank. He didn't let go when she pushed him in the pool, red wine and all. He didn't let go of her hand when she was pulled in with him, and for some reason they got tangled in the water and he ended up carrying her bridal style out of the pool.

He reluctantly let go of her hand when she walked into the showers.

But didn't let go of her hand when they came to meet after. He didn't let go of her hand when he made their staff line up to greet her that evening. There were four of them in total, Ga Eul remembered hating the fact that he was so pampered and taken care of. The names of their staff escaped her that time, but the looks on their eyes were precious, as if they were seeing her alive for the first time.

That was sort of true.

He didn't let go of her hand when they went to bed and said their good nights. Ga Eul kissed his cheek as soon as his head hit the pillow. He closed his eyes and smiled, and in his last breath of consciousness, he told her he loved her.

He didn't let go of her hand when he slept, because he was still holding her hand at the moment.

She looked under their sheets to find their hands intertwined as if they've been sewn together. She looked at her husband who was still sleeping peacefully before she pulled their hands out of hiding and into the waking sun. His ring shone in the light, as if greeting her good morning. She smiled and pulled their hands close to her to look at his ring.

Then she was plunged back into the past.

_Ga Eul was praying that tires run flat or they would be lost. She was praying for _anything_ to happen. Just not the wedding._

_Jan Di bid her good bye and told her she would meet her at the church when Jun Pyo arrived to pick her up and told Ga Eul the chauffeur was ready. Ga Eul smiled at the couple who was to be married after months or so after her, before waving good bye as she settled into her own transport to the church._

_Even the chauffeur knew something was up. "Do you need a minute, miss?" he asked, his hand hovering over the door handle, as if unsure if he was going to let Ga Eul in yet or not._

_When Ga Eul did not answer he said, "You know, miss, you should not push yourself into things that doesn't make your heart happy."_

_"But I am happy," Ga Eul said softly. She was happy. She was happy. She was happy. It was a mantra in her head, making her believe that she actually was happy. She was sure everything about her said otherwise._

_"You look like a beautiful bride, miss," he continued. "You future husband should be worth it."_

_Ga Eul had to stop the tears from falling as she thought, _You're right. You are _very_ right.

When she blinked, she found that Yi Jeong hadn't woken up yet. Only a few minutes had passed, and she was still holding his hand. His hand fit perfect on her, as if it was her hands' other halves. Why would have it been wrong to marry him?

Why was she having these dreams? These awful flashbacks? What was happening?

Yi Jeong stirred, and slowly woke up. He opened one eye and smiled when his eye found her face and closed it again. "Good morning," he sleepily muttered.

"Good morning," she said, hoping that the quiver on her voice sounded like a sleepy tone instead of a fearful one.

It didn't fool him. Both of his eyes were immediately open and he was already wide awake. His free hand immediately caressed her cheek, and until that moment, she didn't realize she was crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. "I-I'm not sure," it was the most honest thing she could tell him. She knew she couldn't lie to him. He would most probably find her out. But she didn't want to tell him either. First, because she wasn't sure. She didn't know what to think about her flashbacks or nightmares. She didn't want to think about them. Period.

Second, because she knew it happened in the past. It was like a painful memory her mind was making her remember but her body was forcefully pushing down. It was like her body didn't want to remind her of anything that happened in the past just yet. She didn't want to remember everything. She wanted to stay in this moment with Yi Jeong for as long as she can.

"Were you dreaming?" he asked all of a sudden she almost gasped. She stopped herself before the situation turned over dramatic.

She nodded. It was almost a dream anyway. "Nightmare," she whispered. It was almost a nightmare. A nightmare while she was awake.

He pulled her close to him so she was encircled in him, like he was a barrier protecting her from everything on the outside. "Want to talk about it?" he asked, while he smoothed her hair behind her, comforting her.

She shook her head, and instead clung into him for dear life. She inhaled the scent of him, the scent of earth and dry clay, a hint of laundry detergent and masculine perfume, a scent she always associated with Yi Jeong. And home. Where she was, where she would always be.

She found her heartbeat slowing, her breaths evening. She found that she also stopped shaking. She hadn't realized she'd been that physically affected. It was as if she was separate from her body, and she was only feeling everything secondhand.

Right now, she wanted everything to go away. She only wanted to be in his arms, where she felt most safe, where she would always be at home.

"Yi Jeong-ah?" she asked a few moments later, when she was feeling better.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," she told his t-shirt, it came off as a very mumbly phrase, under his clothes.

He hugged her tighter. "I love you, too."

"Can we stay like this the whole morning?"

He let go of her for a second to pull the sheets up to their waist. "Even until forever if that's what you want to do."

_That's what I want to do, _she thought as she closed her eyes and let the scent of him drown her, and with her the nightmares she wanted to go away.

Breakfast was served in bed later. They watched three movies, one drama, and an episode of Adventure Time to which Yi Jeong's constant comment was "What the heck just happened?" Lunch came in after with their bottle of wine, which they didn't touch, coming with their silent agreement that alcoholic beverages are for the pool. They tried to make pots in the late afternoon, but continually failed because they end up trying to mess up each other's works.

In the end they just lay in bed, still dress like they were the night before, holding each other tight like they were each other's life support. They might as well be.

Ga Eul learned that day that Yi Jeong worked Mondays to Wednesdays in Seoul, and the rest of the days he would stay home and take care of her. Ga Eul worked as a teacher before she got into the accident, so she was basically a home girl then.

She pouted at his choice of words and he said that he didn't mind. He loved the excuse of missing the rest of the week just for her, although he said he really didn't miss much, what with Il Hyun and Eun Jae, who were also then married, doing much of the work, too.

"Today was just a really lazy Saturday," he said.

"I love lazy Saturdays," she told him her clay dried hand squeezing his. "Were all our Saturdays like this before?"

He shook his head. "No, this one is the laziest so far," he said. Although he smiled, he looked as if he was thinking about something else. She didn't want to pry. She didn't want to ruin this moment.

"Probably the best one?"

"Probably," he laughed.

She stood up, pulling him with her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Sing for me?" she requested.

He looked puzzled for a moment, but then opened his mouth to sing the first verse of a song she never had a chance to hear because she immediately used the adrenaline she was charged with to pull his lips into hers, and that moment, she knew it was their best Saturday yet.

"I love Lazy Saturdays, too," he said after.

_I love you more_, she thought. There was no other man on earth she would want to be with at the moment, and maybe, just maybe, she was just fooling herself. Maybe the nightmares really are just nightmares.

She believed it. That night, everything else was a blurry part of her life, and the bright spot was So Yi Jeong.

.

* * *

_(a/n: Hi ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for the late update. I just got through the last week of hell for this school year! Yeah!_

_I have to say I love this chapter better than those other two because it's better written... at least in my opinion. Word of advice: Reading and writing is the cure of writer's block._

_I thank those who reviewed the past two chapters. I haven't gotten to reply because of my tight schedule but I will! I promise. I really really appreciate your kind words._

_Thank you for dropping by! I'll see you around for the next chapter.)_


	4. Square One

**Square One**

She forgot to close the windows that night.

That was the first thought that Ga Eul had that morning, when she was in the middle of sleeping and waking up.

The sunlight was easing itself through the windows of the room and to Ga Eul's eyes, wanting to be let in. _You have to see the world,_ it told her.

"Five more minutes," she whispered irritably, pulling the heavy sheets over her head. Under the cover of darkness, Ga Eul opened her eyes in a brief realization. She does not own heavy sheets.

She took a deep breath before pushing the sheets away and sitting up on the bed. White walls. _No_. Light blue walls, so light it would've passed as white on first glance. She closed her eyes with her eyebrows drawn together in concentration.

Her room had pink walls. That was clear in her memory.

The sheets were too thick for comfort. The bed was too soft and too big it could fit two people.

Ga Eul opened her eyes again. The room didn't change as she expected. It was still the same elegant light blue room, with huge windows covered with cream curtains that let the light in.

Panic was starting to settle in her nerves.

_Where was she? What had she been doing there? How did she get there?_

More questions were punching their way in her gut. More questions to which she had no idea how to answer. She took more deep breaths in effort to calm herself. They were not working, though. She could feel herself shake and it had little to do with the temperature.

She took the sheets off of her and pushed herself off the bed. The clothes she was wearing were unfamiliar, they gave her even more reasons to panic. She walked in a full circle hugging herself before she walked around the room to investigate.

The first thing she bumped into was a closet. She opened it and hopped it would open up to somewhere safe, and was more than disappointed to find male clothes inside. Suits. Jackets. Long sleeves. She closed the closet immediately before she broke down.

She ran back to the bed, curling on the cold floor beside it while holding the edges of the sheets.

She must have done something really stupid last night, she thought to herself, to be in this kind of situation. What will her parents tell her when she got home? She sat up, trembling at the accusations she will have no answer to. Her shoulders hit a table beside the bed, making something fall on the floor with a distinct _ting_ sound as it hit the tiles.

Her shaking hand reached out to find that it was a ring that fell from the table. She was about to place the ring back when she found a note addressed to her on the table.

_GE, Breakfast whenever you're ready. -YJ_

Ga Eul crumpled the paper. Why was she in Yi Jeong's place? Or was she in a hotel _with So Yi Jeong?_ She still didn't know which one was worst.

She let herself fall on the floor, with her cheek touching the cold tiles, the questions in her mind like bulldozers running over any sane thought that could comfort her.

_What happened? _What happened? __What happened?__

_Why was she with Yi Jeong, when she was going to be married in a few weeks?_

Being with Yi Jeong was a sin in itself. She knew she should not be there. She knew she should not be in any situation with So Yi Jeong at any moment. So Yi Jeong must have been banned in her life. He should not be anywhere near her ever since... ever since...

Tears began falling on the floor.

Was death a punishment for falling in love with the wrong man?

The soft tone on Yi Jeong's letter must mean that Ga Eul agreed to whatever terms he had when he brought her in the place she was in at the moment. Ga Eul was willing to go with So Yi Jeong. That must mean she had left everyone else behind.

She was despicable.

Her sobs echoed in the room, almost comforting her that there was another sound besides her ragged breathing.

The wedding dress was supposed to be picked up in a few hours, she thought, if her mental calendar was correct. The bride must be there to pick up the dress. But the bride was not present.

Her mother would be worried. Her father. The groom.

Jan Di would know where she was. Jan Di knew from the very beginning. Jan Di would know that Ga Eul would be with So Yi Jeong.

_She was really despicable._ Similar thoughts continued to pound her head, deafening her, she did not realize she was crying so hard, hard enough to call the attention of people outside the room. Hard enough not to realize that she was in the arms of the man she was not supposed to be with.

Her names in his lips was one of the most comforting things she'd ever heard in her life but she will not admit it. She should not admit it. Any thought she had about So Yi Jeong must be burned in hell. She owed him this... after all, she was going to be married.

"Please, let go of me," she told him.

She was shaking. She was trembling. She felt horrible but she felt safe in his arms. The only way to pay for her sins was to be away from him. From So Yi Jeong himself.

"Ga Eul-yang, at least tell me..." his eyes were also pooled with tears that were unshed.

She hugged her knees as she felt him let go of her, unwilling to look at anything else but the darkness. "No," she whispered to the darkness. "Please."

Somewhere in the darkness, a male voice asked, "Sir?"

"No," came Yi Jeong's voice. "Let's give her space."

"She is having tremors. She is confusing the past from the present," the firm voice said.

"I don't care," Yi Jeong said. "Leave her alone."

When Ga Eul met with the light again, she was in a different room. The room looked vaguely familiar. She sighed when she realized she was in a hospital room.

_Great_, she thought. _First she was in So Yi Jeong's room, and now she was in a hospital, almost claimed to be a lunatic by some person she didn't know._

"Ga Eulie..."

Ga Eul whipped her head to find Jan Di beside her looking like the most worried person in the world. "Jan Di-ah," Ga Eul called. "I... I don't remember anything."

Jan Di smiled, looking almost relieved. "I know," she said.

Ga Eul sat up, and Jan Di pushed a button to incline the bed with Ga Eul. "What do you mean you know? You know I left with So Yi Jeong?" she spit out the sentence like the words were the worst tasting food she'd ever had.

"I meant I know that you don't remember anything," Jan Di explained patiently.

"What?"

"What I'm going to say is going to sound crazy but you have to believe me," Jan Di looked so serious Ga Eul only had to nod. "You got into an accident on the way to your honeymoon. You're memory's impaired and the doctors have been saying that right now you're confusing the past for the present."

Ga Eul closed her eyes and let that sink in. "That means I'm already married," Ga Eul said, not asked. That being said, she felt only worst for staying with Yi Jeong for no matter how long, for no matter what reason.

She felt Jan Di's hand on hers. Ga Eul opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. "What about..." she let the question fade away, knowing Jan Di already knew what she was about to ask.

Silence.

"Jan Di-ah!" Ga Eul cried and looked at Jan Di.

What she saw was something she did not expect. The other girl was in tears.

"Jan Di... don't tell me..."

There was a knock on the door, an unfamiliar voice saying, "Miss Chu, we're entering," and the door opening to welcome a doctor holding a clipboard, and a nurse following close behind.

"Where's Ji Hoo-sunbae?" Jan Di asked as she pushed her tears off her face.

The doctor looked indifferent to her emotions. "He's in an emergency at the moment, he would address to Miss Chu later this day." The doctor referred to his clipboard before looking at Ga Eul over his glasses. "I'm not sure why Mr. So insisted on bringing you out of here in the first place," he muttered. "You were improving but it did not give him enough reason to take care of you himself."

"Yi Jeong-ah?" Ga Eul asked, his name was like poison in her mouth. It tasted bitter, like she was not allowed to say it at all. "Where is he?" she asked no one in particular.

"He brought you here when you fell asleep," Jan Di said in a half-whisper. "He's at his place, I think, since he said that you told him not to see you."

"I never..." she stopped herself. Did she tell him that? She was pretty sure she did not, but it may have just been Yi Jeong's instinct. He was, after all, the man closest to her heart.

So close her heart began to ache.

She had to stop. She had to stop loving him.

"How are you feeling Miss Chu?" the doctor asked her, pen poised on clipboard ready to take down notes. The nurse was fussing with Ga Eul's IV fluids, checking to see anything wrong.

"Horrible."

"He meant physically, Ga Eullie," Jan Di corrected her, knowing what she was talking about.

"Fine. Strong. Grand, even," Ga Eul said flatly.

The doctor sighed. "Miss Chu, we need to know what you're exactly feeling at the moment."

"I said I feel fine. I don't have anything going on physically," Ga Eul said so irritably she knew she just disrespected the doctor. But she was feeling _horrible_ as well. Emotionally. Mentally.

The doctor scribbled his notes. "What do you remember?"

Ga Eul laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. "Today we're supposed to pick up the wedding dress we ordered last week. We're going to check for anything that can be wrong in the last minute. The wedding's in a few weeks. Three, I think. I woke up in a place where I stayed with So Yi Jeong for the night. I... I feel horrible."

Scratches of pen on paper was the only sound in the room, until the doctor stopped and said, "Alright. Thank you for your cooperation. Miss Geum?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be staying until tonight? Or will I assign the nurses for the medicine?"

"I'll be staying."

The conversation was beyond Ga Eul. She could feel her soul being separated from her body. Her body felt fine, but her soul felt unstable. Like it was going to explode at any moment.

"Yi Jeong-ah..." his name came from her mouth, involuntarily, like it was something she's been doing when she was hurting. Maybe she did. She couldn't remember. She could not remember anything.

* * *

_(a/n: LAST DAY OF FINAL EXAMS! WOOHOO! I'm updating this, 30 minutes before my last exam, hehehehe. Hopefully I can update sooner that I have been updating before. Thank you for dropping by and I'll see you on the next chapter!)_


	5. Come Back

**Come Back**

Ga Eul had been staring at ceiling for so long that the edges of her sight began to blur and for some time, she's wondered if she was still alive. It would be better if she were dead, she thought. People would worry less, her parents would think less... and she would not have to deal with the situation she was currently in.

She was married. _But she was not._

They were on the way to their honeymoon. _But they weren't._

They didn't reach the place. _They never left in the first place._

In Ga Eul's mind, those things never happened. Nothing from her memory could help her recall the events the doctors have been telling her that had happened to her the past months. They haven't given her a number but she was sure she was under therapy for a long time. Judging by the hopeless looks on the nurses' face when they enter her room, she might have been there for a life time and she never would have known.

Or it could be also because of the lack of So Yi Jeong's presence that the nurses were looking so off.

His name in her mind gave her a sudden jolt. Pain. Then longing.

It was this, the pain that told her that she was very much alive. Too alive to feel this kinds of sensation. This _pain._

_A shame._

A cellphone rang from somewhere around the room that confirmed her mortality.

"Hello?" Jan Di's sleepy voice cut through Ga Eul's thoughts.

Ga Eul shifted in her bed to look for the familiar face of her best friend when she realized her _restraints_. There was a mask on her face, covering her nose and her mouth. Two dextrose hung on the bar beside her bed, connected to tube inserted on her right hand. Her left hand was heavy, like the aftereffects of certain vaccines. There was a machine beside her the beeped in sync with her heartbeat.

And she hadn't noticed them until now. She must be in worse condition than her doctors even believed.

"Yes, I'm with her, of course," said Jan Di.

Ga Eul shifted her head, the only part of her body that was easy enough to maneuver, to get a glimpse of Jan Di... and the rest of the hospital room. It was far too luxurious to be a hospital room. Ga Eul could almost seee F4 F4 F4 F4 painted around the whole place. Maybe even just Yi Jeong Yi Jeong Yi Jeong. Jan Di was sitting on a comfortable-looking couch, her knees folded under her. How long had she been asleep? How long had she been with Ga Eul?

Jan Di's eyes were still closed, and Ga Eul was half thankful, half guilty that she was hoarding her best friend to herself at the moment. She must have been very exhausted to have no energy to even look at Ga Eul.

Ga Eul belatedly wondered where her parents were.

"She was... better, I think. Remember last time when she was clawing on the nurses and yelling for him? There was none of that today."

Clawing and yelling? Not very Ga Eul-like, she thought to herself. And who was _him_?

Jan Di laughed, something that bordered exhaustion and false humor. "No, she wasn't sedated either. She was just... lying there. Looking at the ceiling."

Ga Eul placed her sight back to the ceiling above her. Plain and white. It was by far more beautiful than her complicated life at the moment.

"I know, sunbae, but maybe she's better. I'd rather believe she's better." There was a sound of movement from where Jan Di was and Ga Eul closed her eyes before Jan Di could reach her bed. "She looks so tired. I can't even imagine what must it be like for her."

"She's still fighting, too," said the voice from the other line, muffled by the sound of static that Ga Eul couldn't identify the owner of the voice.

Ga Eul felt a hand on hers and Jan Di's weight on the bed. She was so tempted to open her eyes and talk to Jan Di but then the exhaustion started to settle on her nerves. She began to feel the weight of her body, her nerves, the blood on her, the way they do after an extremely long day. She was suddenly tired, and sleep began tugging her away from the conscious world.

"I'm sorry for calling every now and then, Jan Di-ah.I'm just... worried."

"I know, Yi Jeong-sunbae. It's okay. I understand."

Yi Jeong? Yi Jeong-ah.

"She just whispered your name."

"She did?" the voice from the other line sounded as surprised as Ga Eul felt. It was Yi Jeong after all.

"You know how the wedding turned out. No one really wanted her to get married. Even her parents," Jan Di started, her thumb tracing the weak fingers of Ga Eul's hand.

"She seemed content," Yi Jeong's voice was slow, and hurt.

Beside her, Ga Eul could feel Jan Di nod. "She was."

I was content. I was content with him, Ga Eul thought.

"But she wasn't happy," Jan Di said, echoing Ga Eul's similar thoughts.

Yi Jeong was silent on the other line. Was he confused? Uncertain? Disbelieving?

_I was not happy. _Ga Eul thought. Maybe she said that out loud again. But she was too close to falling asleep. Too close to the edge of dreams to even think about talking.

"We made pots the other day," Yi Jeong said, his voice almost a whisper of a distant dream. "We watched movies and drank a little wine."

What Yi Jeong said triggered a memory to dance behind Ga Eul's closed eyelids and she confirmed, yes. That happened. Some time... It seemed like a long time ago.

"She had always been happy with you."

"I was stupid."

"You were."

Their voices were wisps of the wind carressing her cheek, bringing her farther and farther away from reality.

_"I do."_

_"And do you, Chu Ga Eul, take this man as your husband? Love him and care for him? In sickness and in health? In richness and poverty? Till death do you part?"_

_Silently, she was praying to the heavens to make this stop, make everything stop, just stop. At the back of her head she was asking "Where are you? So Yi Jeong, where are you?"_

_He wasn't there. He was not at the wedding. That was the first whisper Ji Hoo told her when she alighted the limo the brought her to the church. _He couldn't make it.

_There was no turning back now. She took a deep breath. Silently counting. Silently praying. Silently screaming for So Yi Jeong to come and rescue her from her damnation. "I do."_

_"By the power vested in me by the Holy Spirit, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."_

_There was a shattering noise, the sound of metal against metal, the feeling of being lightweight. Then pain. So much pain._

Ga Eul woke up gasping for breath even with her direct supply of oxygen. The beeps from the monitor was accelerating, and she vaguely noticed the doctors crowding over her, and the nurses adjusting the cords and tubes that connected her to a sort of life line.

"Yi Jeong-ah?"

A squeeze in her hand. Then a whisper. "I'm right here."

Ga Eul closed her eyes to ward off the lingering pain and noise of her dream. They came back to her in a less destructive, less frightening manner, but the breath was knocked out of her all the same.

"Ga Eul-yang?"

"He's dead, isn't he?" Ga Eul wheezed. She must have been crying. She didn't know. There was too much going on, and she was too numb to feel her own body.

But he's dead. How could she not have known? How could she have forgotten?

"I'm sorry."

The world was fading again, even as Ga Eul tried to hold on. The dreams were dragging her back down to replay everything that happened.

Finally, her mind was beginning to remember. She didn't know if she was relieved or scared.

"You lied to me," Ga Eul managed to tell him, under the haze of her distant nightmares.

"I lied about a lot of things," his voice seemed to be constant, even in the midst of the chaos the doctors where creating.

_They were married. They lived in a mansion. They had a rose garden and a pool. He was taking care of her for three months._

"It was a beautiful lie," Ga Eul said as the dreams were winning control over her. "Thank you."

"Mr. So, you may have to step back. We are bringing her to the ICU."

"We're losing her, doctor."

"Blood sugar levels are decreasing. White blood cell count increasing, but it's only a matter of time before..."

"We need the signature of her parents for..."

"Ga Eul-yang?" His voice was a whisper beside her ear, and it stood out among the rest. His was calm and serene. Mixed with a little fear, but more on faith.

"Yi Jeong-sunbae," she heard herself say.

"Come back to me."

Darkness. Silence. Emptiness.

Then. "I will."


	6. Adding Up

**Adding Up**

"Ga Eul-ah!"

Ga Eul jumped in her seat, both in surprise and in expectation as she turned to see her guest before standing up and reaching for the door. "Jan Di-ah! You didn't even tell me you'd be visiting!" she said as she pulled her best friend in an embrace.

Jan Di was frowning at her when she pulled back. "You sound disappointed."

Ga Eul tried her shot for a winning smile, although she was sure Jan Di could still look past through it. "Of course not! I was... just surprised. It's rare for anyone to visit at lunchtime."

Jan Di only looked at her before nodding and placing down her bags on the table. She opened them and and unpacked the lunchboxes on the table revealing an overwhelming menu for a small bag. She stopped when she noticed that Ga Eul was still just standing there and said, "Well, this isn't just for me, you know."

Ga Eul blinked, and shook her head. "I- I don't..."

Jan Di sighed. "Ga Eulie you know, you're not pulling off the 'I'm fine so you don't have to worry about me' theatrical act very well."

"I'm not-"

"Of course you're not," Jan Di gave her a look. It's the look of the best friend who's seen every angle of her being and that whatever walls and masks she puts on, this best friend can look through her.

Jan Di pushed a container of rice to Ga Eul's hands, which she took gingerly. She looked at the container for a while that it's only until Jan Di pushed her down a chair did she realize that she was standing for quite some time and that she was in a far worse condition than she thought herself to be.

"He hasn't seen you yet, has he?" Jan Di said, continuing her attack on the food she had brought over, and Ga Eul noticed that she was already almost halfway through with her share. Ga Eul, on the other hand, still hadn't touched hers.

"No," Ga Eul said, her voice so shaky it might as well be an island hit by an earthquake. "No," she tried again, a little steadier than before, but shaky all the same.

"Ga Eulie, I heard you."

Ga Eul looked up. Jan Di had already finished her food, and was looking worriedly at her.

"I know. It's just..."

"You said 'No', like, 5 times already."

"I-"

Jan Di sighed as she cleaned everything up and took the container of rice from Ga Eul, and once she let go, her fingers ached.

"Ji Won-sshi called to say you don't eat with them for lunch anymore," Jan Di said by way of explaining her unannounced appearance.

"She did, didn't she?" Ga Eul frowned, realizing only now that she had been obvious in her little tantrum. Too obvious. She knew her co-worker didn't mean any harm but knowledge of the wrong facts may cost Ga Eul dearly. "Did she say who else she told about this?"

"Doesn't matter," Jan Di said without looking at her, which told her exactly what she needed to know. "Now," she placed a chair right in front of Ga Eul and sat on it. "Tell me. I know this has something, everything," she corrected herself when Ga Eul sighed, "to do with Yi Jeong-sunbae."

Ga Eul threw her hands and then took a deep breath to stabilize herself, as far as stabilizing meant at the moment, at least."He's back," she said simply like it was the biggest mystery one can only ever uncover in the world.

Jan Di nodded. "Yes, for good," Jan Di said with her brow furrowed, confused. "I thought you'd be happy about that."

"I am, I mean I should be, I don't know."

Jan Di gave her another best friend look that said she knew Ga Eul was hiding something else and that whatever reason Ga Eul was being... herself, there would be no judgment.

Ga Eul sighed, knowing better than to hide anything from Jan Di."Well, he promised."

"He promised you he'd be back," Jan Di said.

Ga Eul shook her head, her heart feeling cold all over and she bit her lower lip as if saying the words would make them more real, as if they weren't even real in the first place.

"Ga Eulie, your lips are bleeding."

"Oh go-"

"I was lying," Jan Di said. "But they would be if you won't stop that."

Ga Eul frowned, and just when Jan Di was about to give up, she spoke again.

"He promised that when he comes back from Sweden... He promised I'd be the first person he'd look for... the first person he'd see," Ga Eul spilled, her words becoming softer after another, that Jan Di almost didn't hear the last two, but she knew enough to get the gist of it.

Jan Di's mouth was open for a while until she said, "That son of a bi-"

"Jan Di," Ga Eul cringed. "The kids might hear you."

Jan Di stood up, fuming. "He made you fu-freaking wait for four fu-freaking years?! And he made a fuc-freaking promise that he fu-freaking broke?! That fu-freaking son of a... his father!"

Ga Eul's face was sour. "Thank you for making that PG-13."

"I'm going to get him."

Ga Eul stood up and blocked the door that Jan Di was heading to before Jan Di could make any damage, although the door was the least of her concerns. "He might have his own reasons..."

"Other than being a coward? And a jerk?"

"Jan Di-ah..."

"I'm just saying!" Jan Di now sounded exasperated, and even though she was just being herself, Ga Eul was ever so grateful to have her, and for her to understand what she was going through and feeling.

"He has his reasons..."

Jan Di rolled her eyes.

Ga Eul couldn't even say anything else in defense for Yi Jeong, and in defense for herself for still, _still_ holding on.

"I'm going to get him."

"Jan Di-ah..."

"I'm not talking about Yi Jeong-sunbae."

Ga Eul's mouth opened in realization and then shook her head so wildly it almost looked like it would fall off. "No. No, Jan Di. Don't even think about it."

"He would kill him."

"Exactly why we shouldn't tell him."

"Hopefully you're not talking about me."

Ga Eul's breath caught as she twirled around, the world blurring around her, only to be brought back to it with Jan Di saying, "Of course no- What the hell are you even doing here?"

"I missed you, too?" Jun Pyo told her. Ga Eul only blew out a breath of relief she didn't know she was holding. She hated the fact that he and Jun Pyo sounded too much alike. "What happened to her?" Jun Pyo asked Ga Eul, pointing at Jan Di that Jan Di hit him on the head, Ga Eul supposed that Jun Pyo received all her anger towards Yi Jeong.

Jun Pyo was Jan Di's buffer. Her reliever. Her breathing room. He would be beat up and hit and be shouted on and he'd say nothing about it because that's just how they love each other, and then Jan Di would feel much better afterwards. She wondered what Yi Jeong was to her.

She'd once thought Yi Jeong was her savior. He had saved her more times she could count, even though he once claimed that she'd saved him, too. But she had been dependent on him. He was her everything once.

"No! Absolutely not!"

"Why are you putting up a huge fight about it, you're not even the one I asked."

"Well, I answer for her and I say no," Jan Di said. "You tell your friend that he can take his flowery words away from Ga Eulie because he will not see a strand of her hair."

"Wha-"

Jan Di stopped and looked at Ga Eul and upon seeing the look of her face, she understood immediately that she wasn't with them when the argument started. "Yi Jeong-sunbae wanted to meet you at Namsan, I say no."

"It's your choice, Ga Eul-ah, not hers," Jun Pyo said, staying true to his friend against Jan Di for once in his life.

"I-"

"Ga Eulie, say no."

"Don't listen to her, it's your choice."

"Love?"

This time Ga Eul did jump, knowing fully well only one person in the world would call her that, and with Jun Pyo right in front of her, there was no mistaking it this time. She turned around to face her third guest today with an all too big smile.

"Sun Pyo-oppa, I won't be home till 3 this afternoon."

Gong Sun Pyo stood at the door with a bouquet of lilies in his hand, looking immaculate in his casual clothes despite the ordinariness of everything. "There was a commotion outside," he said. "About the Shin Hwa heir cancelling the classes of the school for the whole afternoon because _you_ had to go somewhere." He said the word 'You' like it was the only thing that mattered.

"You cancelled the classes?!" Jan Di screamed at Jun Pyo with a hand poised to hit him. He used both his arms to shield himself from a slap that did not come. Jan Di forced her hands to her sides and murmured, "Such an idiot. And an optimist."

"Who is this guy?" Jun Pyo asked, after gathering himself again.

Sun Pyo ignored the two of them as he walked and handed Ga Eul the bouquet. "You were going somewhere?" he asked again.

Was she? Did she want to see Yi Jeong?

_Of course. More than anything in my heart._

"I-"

"She wasn't."

"She was-Ow!"

Jan Di and Jun Pyo chorused, and Jan Di stepped on Jun Pyo's foot.

"Well, which one was it?" Sun Pyo asked, with the stars in his eyes and his heart in his hands.

Ga Eul took a deep breath and touched the petals of one of the beautiful lilies. "Did you want to go out today?" Ga Eul asked, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"I-yes," Sun Pyo said, confused and flustered at the same time at what Ga Eul just said, ultimately ignoring the fact that she did not even bother to answer his question. "I mean, yes, I was going to ask you..."

"Okay."

Sun Pyo's eyes widened. "Okay, as in you'll go out with me okay? Or okay as in..."

"Okay as in let's get out of here, please," Ga Eul said, trying her best not to look desperate.

Jun Pyo's protests were cut by Jan Di's hand.

"Yes!" Fortunately for Ga Eul, Sun Pyo was too excited to notice. "Of course, I mean, yes. Wow. Thank you, love."

"Oppa, please, it's Ga Eul."

"Yes, of course," Sun Pyo bowed with a flourish, his foreign blood making itself prominent.

Ga Eul half-walked, half-ran out of the classroom, with Sun Pyo following her closely, leaving Jun Pyo and Jan Di inside the classroom alone.

Jun Pyo bit Jan Di's hand eliciting a banshee-like cry that shook the building from its hinges, that Jan Di delivered the slap that had been waiting for Jun Pyo from a while back.

"We're even, okay," Jun Pyo said after rubbing his red cheek that did nothing to ease the pain. "Now, who's that guy?"

Jan Di shrugged. "Ga Eul's fiancee."

Jun Pyo rolled his eyes. "You're lying. That's not Ga Eul's fiancee."

Jan Di frowned at Jun Pyo, forgetting that even for his thick head, he could still read her like his phone messages. But she shrugged, not allowing even that to ruin her stride."Not yet."

Jun Pyo took a step back. "You'd support him-that guy, instead of Yi Jeong?"

Jan Di tried hard not to scoff at her boyfriend. "He didn't make Ga Eul wait. He didn't make a promise he broke. He loves her above everything else," she said, counting her fingers.

Jun Pyo rolled his eyes again. "Yi Jeong has his reasons."

"Well, he's not telling her this _reasons,_ isn't he?" Jan Di said, quoting 'reasons' with her hands.

"Why do you think he wanted to see her at Namsan, idiot?" Jun Pyo said and pinched Jan Di's cheek, and she slapped his hand away. "Now what am I supposed to tell the other three."

Jan Di crossed her arms as she watched Ga Eul and Sun Pyo in the windows of Ga Eul's classroom. He opened the door for her, bowing slightly, like a prince opening a carriage door for his beloved princess. He'd always been like that ever since he met Ga Eul. Too caring. Too loving. Too perfect. While his counterpart, although as wealthy or even more than he is, is almost an exact opposite. If Jan Di was taking sides against Jun Pyo's friend, it was only because she wanted the best for Ga Eul.

"Tell them... tell Yi Jeong-sunbae she made her choice."

...

A/N: Hi. Yes. Multi-chaps aren't really my thing. I'm sorry for updating so late... too late. But thank you anyway for keeping the reviews and support coming.

This chapter is done because of Myrielle's break from Fanfiction. If you don't know who she is, well you're missing half of your fanfiction life, especially here in the BoF fandom. She's, I dare say, the best writer I have every read, and I can safely say I have read a lot of authors from this fandom. If you're going to read her works, you have to check if the story's complete because you'll be left with a broken heart with the things left unfinished... beautiful, yet incomplete.

It's a 'Thank You' chapter to her, my favorite author, my inspiration. And a 'Good bye'. I'd hope to see her name again one day... in the books of the next big thing in literature.

Happy Holidays, everyone! You'll hear from me soon. I promise. :)

-sweetheartbreaker


	7. Restart

**Restart**

Dr. Kim, the head doctor who was relatively younger than the rest of his group but with graying hair and a semi-permanent serious expression on his face, tapped his clipboard two more times before sighing again. He pushed his glasses back the bridge of his nose and flipped through his notes the nth time during the span of time they were talking. But that wasn't the reason why Yi Jeong was feeling so off. It was the fact that one of his best friends who was also part of team, Dr. Yoon Ji Hoo was looking at him with his hawk X-ray eyes. With his white lab coat, he looked even more nerve-wrecking.

"Tell me, Mr. So," Dr. Kim started after the whole while of staying silent when Yi Jeong spoke and the other moment of silence of digestion of information after that. "Why did you not tell us this crucial information before?"

It was Yi Jeong's turn to sigh. The interview had been going on longer than he wanted to, and had started out unexpectedly as well. He could have just stayed in his house like he intended to, but no, his urge to see Ga Eul was stronger than everything inside him, and was eating him whole so he had to visit her just in time to see her be rolled to the ICU for the fifth time the whole month. The doctors cornered Yi Jeong as soon as Ga Eul's vitals were stable, and had to tell them everything he found out the time Ga Eul spent with him.

"I thought you already knew of the information before I did," he said, which was half true. The other half had the back of his mind knowing that if they had found out, they would have told him, which they didn't.

The doctor was in the middle of another sigh when Ji Hoo spoke up, which made Yi Jeong jump more than anything else. "He was being selfish, which has nothing to do with anything." The look that he gave Yi Jeong told him that even though his statement ended the question from the doctor, the conversation was not over between the two of them. Yi Jeong dreaded a questioning from Yoon Ji Hoo ever since they were children, watching him talk to Woo Bin and Jun Pyo.

But there were other matters they had to deal with.

"Please review what you just said so we can take matters in hand," another one of the three other silent doctors said.

Yi Jeong closed his eyes, and Ga Eul's face popped in the darkness like it always did. Glowing. Healthy. Smiling. So unlike the last time he saw her. She was as pale as a sheet of paper, even her lips was drained of color. Her eyes, in contrast, were bloodshot, and her hands were limp and fingers where thin. But there was hope when she said "I will."

That hope was enough for him to push forward, even if it means starting over.

"There is a pattern as to when she remembers which kinds of memories," he began.

All the doctors, except Ji Hoo who was watching him closely, bent down to take notes.

"It depends on what she did for a day," he continued, the back of his eyes blurring with all the memories they spent with each other. "A day where she is making new memories will make the next day as regular as possible. No tremors. No trauma. No nothing. She will only remember her immediate past, like the day before, or even to a week before if she'd manage not to try to remember anything." Yi Jeong noticed his hands playing with the hem of his jacket. He managed to go on a week without Ga Eul going under trauma by lying to her. He had already made up a story of their wedding and their little house. He even moved to their family rest house just to get everything in motion.

He knew it was a feeble attempt to fix anything. But he had to try. He was willing to try anything to get Ga Eul back.

"A day of reminiscing memories would trigger her to forget that day and remember the past," Yi Jeong went on, he fingers successfully ruining the perfect ironing of his jacket. "Anything that would have pointed to anything in the past, especially just before or during her accident, would wipe out her new memories and revive the old ones." Those were his scary days. Ga Eul would remain in bed crying, refusing the company of anyone, even any kind of food or supplement. Worse days would lead to him calling on help from his friends, who would convince him to bring her back to the hospital, only to take her back in again after she recovers.

He was careful after watching this pattern. Careful not to touch anything from behind her. Careful not to make her remember anything and focused on making new memories always.

"But she's been having dreams lately," he said, forcing his fingers to stop whatever they were doing. He flattened them against his thigh as he spoke again. "They were unpredictable at first but I realized that when they shake her up so much that she cries afterwards, or even worse, the next day would be another day from the past."

Yi Jeong stopped, a bit out of breath. He closed his eyes again, wanting to see the smiling face of Chu Ga Eul imprinted in his mind before opening them to see the looks on the faces of the doctors. Some looked frustrated, he supposed because he told them a little late, some, still, looked relieved as if a solution was already on hand.

Dr. Kim, who was still taking notes then, finally looked up and pushed his glasses up his head like a headband. "This is a lot to take in," he breathes. "But this is progress. A pattern will definitely help the neurologists figure... something out," he considered after a while, probably substituting a deep scientific concept for the weak word he used."You know, this is a mental concept, but her memories are linked to the trauma she experienced that is also linked to her physical health. A solution would be easier to find if they understood this in medical terms," he sighed and placed down his notes and pen on the table. "I assume this would that be everything?"

Yi Jeong gave them a slight nod, even though everything the doctor said went in one ear and went out the other.

"Thank you," Dr. Kim said, stood up from him chair and lead Yi Jeong out of the door.

Yi Jeong would have went home immediately, and drowned his night on alcohol and crying, if Ji Hoo didn't follow him out. He didn't speak but he walked right passed Yi Jeong, which was his way of telling the latter to follow him, into the gardens of the hospital, where most of the people around were patients who were almost recovering.

They stood apart for a while, both sizing the other, although Yi Jeong's thoughts was far from where they were. They stood silent against the laughter and whispers of the people around them. Patients didn't take the presence of two F4 members too seriously, which was a good thing for both of them.

When Yi Jeong couldn't take Ji Hoo's personal dose of silent treatment anymore, he said, "You know, if you want to punch me, go ahead."

Ji Hoo only looked mildly amused. "You know I'm not the punching type."

"You have your tendencies," Yi Jeong told him, referring to one time Ji Hoo lost patience with Jun Pyo. But that was five, six years ago. Way back when. "And I know you're mad at me. And disappointed," he added when Ji Hoo crossed his arms, which was not really a good sign to where the conversation was going. "Can we just please get this over with?"

Ji Hoo smiled a bit. "You know, when I went into this profession, it's not because I wanted to use it to become a power against you three, but it seemed like it's working to that purpose. And anyway, yes, I do want to punch you in the face, that's why we had to go to a public place so I can prevent myself from doing anything untoward to you."

Yi Jeong frowned.

"But I do understand that you want to save Ga Eul," Ji Hoo said, uncrossing his arms to hold them together in front of him. "That doesn't mean you have to hog her to yourself."

"I'm not _hogging_ her," Yi Jeong said defensively only to be met by one of Ji Hoo's glares. "Hogging is too grave of an accusation."

"My point exactly," Ji Hoo said. "Because you know what's going to happen when the neurologists discover the patterns of her brain waves and seek for the solution."

"When her dreams progress, she'll be stuck in the past."

Ji Hoo blinked at him, looking past his lousy lie. "You're smarter than that. Stop pretending like Jun Pyo. We're not kindergarten anymore."

Yi Jeong sighed. He knew exactly what Ji Hoo was talking about, and he hated that he knew about it. Because now that he knew, he would do everything in his power to prevent it from happening, even if it meant not giving Ga Eul back her past. Even if it meant Ga Eul would have to live in a lie forever.

"She is going to cure herself eventually," Ji Hoo said, knowing the exact thoughts going around his friend's mind. He took some steps to reach Yi Jeong and give him a pat on his shoulder. "Whatever you're going to do to keep her away from reality, she's going to remember. You said it yourself, she's beginning to dream about it."

"I know," Yi Jeong sighed. "I know, I'm just selfish. I just can't... I can't let them take her away from me." He closed his eyes again, not wanting to forget any part of the face he grew to love. "They're going to take her away from me. I don't want that to happen."

"It's only temporary."

"You can't say that," Yi Jeong shook his head. "You don't know how long it will take. Months. Years. Forever. I won't have her anymore."

It's so funny, that it was that which scared him the most. Not to have her. Not to see her. Not to be with her. It was so simple, and yet it meant the world to So Yi Jeong. The girl in the ICU, whose life was still in the balance of her memories, was his everything.

Ji Hoo was smiling at him. "You still grip on your toys too tightly."

"She's not a-"

"I know, Yi Jeong-ah," Ji Hoo said, looking outside the hospital, to the gardens where children were playing under the supervision of the nurses and their caretakers. "You know what I mean. But what I really want to say is..." He turned to look at Yi Jeong to make sure he was listening. "Remember when you had to go to Sweden?"

Yi Jeong nodded, unsure. How could he forget such an important detail in his life?

Ji Hoo was still looking at him with his steady gaze, the same gaze that held the F4 in place. "Remember how long you asked her to wait?"

Yi Jeong's mouth was open. "I... Four years," he said in a whisper.

"Wasn't she willing to take the shot? Wasn't she willing to wait? Wasn't she willing to bet everything for you?"

Yi Jeong was silent.

"Weren't you stupid enough to break her trust? And still she waited on you?"

Yi Jeong's eyes were closed, watching the face of his beloved Ga Eul-yang. Her eyes that conveyed her love and trust and hope on him.

"And she's still waiting for you right now, you know. She's waiting for you to trust her this time. Didn't she tell you she'll come back to you?"

"How did you-"

"But I'm right, aren't I?" Ji Hoo shouldered him, his own way of showing support and affection for his friends. It occurred to Yi Jeong that the three of them were scared of Ji Hoo because of his wisdom, and his devotion to delivering the truth to his friends, no matter how painful it may seem at first. In their group, he was the most honest, which made him an enemy to the three who always lied to themselves. Yi Jeong supposed he must have learned it the hard way. Only people who learn from experience grow this wise, and don't want other people to learn the way they did.

Yi Jeong was getting far off his track, and Ji Hoo had to pluck him out of the waters to give him a dose of reality. He was grateful.

"So?" F4's white knight asked. "What do you do now, Yi Jeong-ah?"

Yi Jeong paused. The answer was obvious to the both of them. It was obvious from the very beginning. But it's just now that he was going to take the chance.

"Wait," Yi Jeong said.

...

(A/N: Thank you to everyone who still read and reviewed the previous chapter. Thank you thank you thank you so much. It means the world to me to start the new year writing again. Haha. But thank you. Thank you so much.)


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